I don't know what it is about eggnog, but I could drink that stuff until I bloated into a round soggy bag jetting a constant exit stream out my nostrils.
I was in the grocery store last night, and every year I forget that they produce eggnog for a limited time just before Thanksgiving, and I saw it, and I went crazy and executed savage judo chops all over the elderly woman standing near the display and she went down flailing her cane at me but I dived at those 1 litre cartons like I was scoring the winning behind in the aussie rules match against the Western Bulldogs, and gathered them into my arms and crashed into the yoghurt section wallowing in noggy goodness and they were mine all mine, and I embarrassed my wife, I think.
But who cares what she thinks! And that old lady was asking for it, because everyone knows eggnog is a full-contact sport.
I was in the grocery store last night, and every year I forget that they produce eggnog for a limited time just before Thanksgiving, and I saw it, and I went crazy and executed savage judo chops all over the elderly woman standing near the display and she went down flailing her cane at me but I dived at those 1 litre cartons like I was scoring the winning behind in the aussie rules match against the Western Bulldogs, and gathered them into my arms and crashed into the yoghurt section wallowing in noggy goodness and they were mine all mine, and I embarrassed my wife, I think.
But who cares what she thinks! And that old lady was asking for it, because everyone knows eggnog is a full-contact sport.
I was driving this morning at an ungodly hour: tired, sleepy and also not very awake. I know some people think sunrise is a glorious trumpeting wonderment of an event and their heart skips tra-la within their chests in eagerness at meeting the challenges of a brand new day, whereas I would trade it all for a dirty blanket by the garbage can and my underpants stuffed with newspapers if it meant I could have another hour of sleep.
So anyway I'm driving through the fog, the fog being mostly stuck to the inside side of the windshield and nothing will make it go away, nothing, not the air on high, not the sleeve of my fleece, not my burning glare of irritation which I would have thought would act like a radioactive blowdryer, nothing, and suddenly, I find myself muttering about how come they only sell seedless watermelon nowadays, dammit.
Um... what? It was clear that somebody else was using my brain while my attention was otherwise occupied in very important grumpywork. And not to its full potential, either. Some sort of... tinfoil hat might be in order. Or getting to bed earlier could be the right way to go. Or both. Just to cover all eventualities.
So anyway I'm driving through the fog, the fog being mostly stuck to the inside side of the windshield and nothing will make it go away, nothing, not the air on high, not the sleeve of my fleece, not my burning glare of irritation which I would have thought would act like a radioactive blowdryer, nothing, and suddenly, I find myself muttering about how come they only sell seedless watermelon nowadays, dammit.
Um... what? It was clear that somebody else was using my brain while my attention was otherwise occupied in very important grumpywork. And not to its full potential, either. Some sort of... tinfoil hat might be in order. Or getting to bed earlier could be the right way to go. Or both. Just to cover all eventualities.
Feeling inefficient? Can't seem to concentrate on work? Is the clock doing that "two seconds forward, one second back" thing?
Well take a tip. 7 Habits of Highly Defective People recommends putting off until tomorrow what you might have done today. It's human nature. You don't want to be unnatural do you? Didn't think so.
Go play.
Homestarrunner
http://homestarrunner.com/
Have mercy, O comic genii.
Dooce
http://www.dooce.com/
Best blog. Ever.
Order of the Stick
http://www.giantitp.com/ootsChars.html
Hard-core D&D types only.
Unshelved
http://www.overduemedia.com/archive.aspx
Librarianship can be funny. (Funny ha-ha.)
Well take a tip. 7 Habits of Highly Defective People recommends putting off until tomorrow what you might have done today. It's human nature. You don't want to be unnatural do you? Didn't think so.
Go play.
Homestarrunner
http://homestarrunner.com/
Have mercy, O comic genii.
Dooce
http://www.dooce.com/
Best blog. Ever.
Order of the Stick
http://www.giantitp.com/ootsChars.html
Hard-core D&D types only.
Unshelved
http://www.overduemedia.com/archive.aspx
Librarianship can be funny. (Funny ha-ha.)
Yes, it has a name. And a lot of horse. See rachelle there; I think she loves the new car more than me.
Started a new gym regimen this morning, based on consultation with a personal trainer. On the very first superset (leg extensions! squats! leg extensions! squats!), I thought I was going to die. Then I definitely did die, but obviously I went straight to hell because it only got worse.
All the exercises are done to fatigue. Fatigue achieved? Check. Muscle fibres collapsing and sliding off the bone? Check. At one point I was pushing about 20 lbs with both legs, and whimpering. Actually maybe the chinups were the most hilarious.
Today was the light day for legs. Ha ha!
All the exercises are done to fatigue. Fatigue achieved? Check. Muscle fibres collapsing and sliding off the bone? Check. At one point I was pushing about 20 lbs with both legs, and whimpering. Actually maybe the chinups were the most hilarious.
Today was the light day for legs. Ha ha!
In a stunning exposé released just this morning, Peter's internet connection speed was found to have been fluctuating in recent weeks, say experts at Shaw Cable Victoria. This astounding discovery was made during a routine check on the high-speed modem, which had been stopped by authorities when it failed to deliver the morning email.
Shaw Cable's advisory alert system was immediately upgraded to "Paisley", and citizens are advised to stay indoors until Del the repair guy comes round tomorrow probably between 8 and 5.
A distraught and visibly shaken Mr. Tyrrell was unavailable for comment but has received extra coffee ration and was last seen shucking his wordly vestments in favour of sackcloth and ashes.
Shaw Cable's advisory alert system was immediately upgraded to "Paisley", and citizens are advised to stay indoors until Del the repair guy comes round tomorrow probably between 8 and 5.
A distraught and visibly shaken Mr. Tyrrell was unavailable for comment but has received extra coffee ration and was last seen shucking his wordly vestments in favour of sackcloth and ashes.
