I was in the grocery store last night, and every year I forget that they produce eggnog for a limited time just before Thanksgiving, and I saw it, and I went crazy and executed savage judo chops all over the elderly woman standing near the display and she went down flailing her cane at me but I dived at those 1 litre cartons like I was scoring the winning behind in the aussie rules match against the Western Bulldogs, and gathered them into my arms and crashed into the yoghurt section wallowing in noggy goodness and they were mine all mine, and I embarrassed my wife, I think.
But who cares what she thinks! And that old lady was asking for it, because everyone knows eggnog is a full-contact sport.
So anyway I'm driving through the fog, the fog being mostly stuck to the inside side of the windshield and nothing will make it go away, nothing, not the air on high, not the sleeve of my fleece, not my burning glare of irritation which I would have thought would act like a radioactive blowdryer, nothing, and suddenly, I find myself muttering about how come they only sell seedless watermelon nowadays, dammit.
Um... what? It was clear that somebody else was using my brain while my attention was otherwise occupied in very important grumpywork. And not to its full potential, either. Some sort of... tinfoil hat might be in order. Or getting to bed earlier could be the right way to go. Or both. Just to cover all eventualities.
Well take a tip. 7 Habits of Highly Defective People recommends putting off until tomorrow what you might have done today. It's human nature. You don't want to be unnatural do you? Didn't think so.
Have mercy, O comic genii.
Best blog. Ever.
Order of the Stick
Hard-core D&D types only.
Librarianship can be funny. (Funny ha-ha.)
All the exercises are done to fatigue. Fatigue achieved? Check. Muscle fibres collapsing and sliding off the bone? Check. At one point I was pushing about 20 lbs with both legs, and whimpering. Actually maybe the chinups were the most hilarious.
Today was the light day for legs. Ha ha!
Shaw Cable's advisory alert system was immediately upgraded to "Paisley", and citizens are advised to stay indoors until Del the repair guy comes round tomorrow probably between 8 and 5.
A distraught and visibly shaken Mr. Tyrrell was unavailable for comment but has received extra coffee ration and was last seen shucking his wordly vestments in favour of sackcloth and ashes.