Do you ever criticize yourself? Have past regrets? Well fret no more with the revolutionary Past-B-Gone, now in new lemon-scent spray-on formula!
Stain on the carpet? No probalo! One little spritz and the carpet never existed! Trouble with underarm odour? Apply once, and... you were born without underarms! Hitler? History!
That's right! Mistakes are a thing of the past, with... Whoops! No they're not! The past has been obliterated! Mmmm... lemony!
I can see this being a really big spinoff business for divorce lawyers and grievance mediators.