I walked home from the gym this morning in the rain. I passed the Seagull Lady's house and she was hosing off her driveway. With a hose, jetting water, in the rain. I stared at her but she's the Seagull Lady so it's not like she even noticed.
The Seagull Lady throws her garbage out into the backyard for the gulls. That's why she's called the Seagull Lady. They go all crazy, swoop, dive, and scream at each other. The crows come, and they sidle in and grab things while the gulls are busy pecking each other's eyes out.
I can see her backyard from my office window, so I get a great view. It's Spring right now and tree foliage is blocking me, but I can still see the s***hawks bombing in at 75 degree angles.
We do our own bit to feed the birds, but we mostly get sparrows, finches, nuthatches, chickadees, juncos and squirrels. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Probably not enough banana peels and leftover spaghetti.
Well, considering that your wife is currently pregnant, I can't imagine that you'd have much in the way of leftovers to huck out into the yard. Let's see... What might you have in abundance?... Hmmm, probably cat poo, but that'll just attract flies and I think you're probably looking to attract a higher calibre of winged creature...
My favourite part is all the seagull poop on rooves surrounding Seagull Lady's house. Really adds a touch of class to the neighborhood...
Get your cat properly trained and you'll never have to feed him again.