Sep 19 2006
Things here are typical. Gravity continues to exert itself over a wide area, I still have not discovered the kabbalistic formula which will transform lead into grapefruit juice, each of my cells has divided at least 100 times since you left, and most trees in the neighbourhood stubbornly eschew sentience although I ask very nicely. It's enough to make one sing off-key louder and louder until the police arrive.
The weather has been rather purple and Rachelle is no no no not even a horse. Unless Grandma Friesen turned 91 Sunday, which she didn't, she was 90, and all the Friesens were there, "all" being a very carefully circumscribed all which does not really mean all at all. All Friesens would be too many Friesens. Have been too many at the buffet table. Really all is who-knows-how-many-of-them and the number fluctuates hourly and globally, which makes language silly. Poo to language. I shall grunt the remainder of my letter in the manner of a warthog wallowing in a hollow. Grunt grunt grunty-squeal grunt. Snort.
The thing about warthogs is they're succinct, because they only ever say one thing, and that is: "I am a warthog." This is existentially superior to "Such and such ergo I am a warthog" because it doesn't first require them to learn Latin.
I have no idea how to end this letter now that warthoggery has established philosophical dominance, so I shall simply stroll over to rub my back against that acacia tree over there.
Things here are typical. Gravity continues to exert itself over a wide area, I still have not discovered the kabbalistic formula which will transform lead into grapefruit juice, each of my cells has divided at least 100 times since you left, and most trees in the neighbourhood stubbornly eschew sentience although I ask very nicely. It's enough to make one sing off-key louder and louder until the police arrive.
The weather has been rather purple and Rachelle is no no no not even a horse. Unless Grandma Friesen turned 91 Sunday, which she didn't, she was 90, and all the Friesens were there, "all" being a very carefully circumscribed all which does not really mean all at all. All Friesens would be too many Friesens. Have been too many at the buffet table. Really all is who-knows-how-many-of-them and the number fluctuates hourly and globally, which makes language silly. Poo to language. I shall grunt the remainder of my letter in the manner of a warthog wallowing in a hollow. Grunt grunt grunty-squeal grunt. Snort.
The thing about warthogs is they're succinct, because they only ever say one thing, and that is: "I am a warthog." This is existentially superior to "Such and such ergo I am a warthog" because it doesn't first require them to learn Latin.
I have no idea how to end this letter now that warthoggery has established philosophical dominance, so I shall simply stroll over to rub my back against that acacia tree over there.
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