Last night Rachelle and I heard strange noises outside, and sure enough, we looked out and saw five raccoons leave our front yard and cross the street. It's a good thing the cat was inside, we said, because he's fairly stoopid about knowing when to tangle and when not to tangle.
That's what we meant. What Rachelle actually said was "I don't think he's stupid enough to run away," and I corrected her by saying "No, you mean he's not stupid enough to run away." Then we pondered what we'd just said, and our brains began to self-immolate.
Neither works even though they're opposites. Think about it ten times fast.
Here's another one I've always enjoyed, created accidentally by my sister Kinza, and one of a cluster of malapropistic oddities I've come to call Kinzisms. It's based on a warning printed on car sideview mirrors: "objects in mirror are closer than they appear." Kinza switched out one word and transformed it into a mind-bending optico-grammatical illusion.
When you put the mirror in your mind's eye and try to follow the statement's logic, "seem" and "appear" war with each other to devastate the brainal area.
I couldn't say how profound or useful these mental exercises really are, but it beats television.
That's what we meant. What Rachelle actually said was "I don't think he's stupid enough to run away," and I corrected her by saying "No, you mean he's not stupid enough to run away." Then we pondered what we'd just said, and our brains began to self-immolate.
He's stupid enough to run away from a fight he can't win.
vs.
He's not stupid enough to run away from a fight he can't win.
vs.
He's not stupid enough to run away from a fight he can't win.
Neither works even though they're opposites. Think about it ten times fast.
Here's another one I've always enjoyed, created accidentally by my sister Kinza, and one of a cluster of malapropistic oddities I've come to call Kinzisms. It's based on a warning printed on car sideview mirrors: "objects in mirror are closer than they appear." Kinza switched out one word and transformed it into a mind-bending optico-grammatical illusion.
Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.
When you put the mirror in your mind's eye and try to follow the statement's logic, "seem" and "appear" war with each other to devastate the brainal area.
I couldn't say how profound or useful these mental exercises really are, but it beats television.
Ah...the verbal equivalent of M.C. Escher's works...if you look at it long enough, it strangely starts to make sense, at which time you can have another double-shot latte with no twinge of conscience whatsoever.