Dramatis Personae:
Princess Felice - An energetic princess of tender years
Dribble - A housecat of prodigious size
King Bolivar - Named The Fat, a King, and father to Felice
Sir Sned - A Knight in the employ of the Kingdom
Act I, Scene I
Princess Felice leaps around the tower room like a stung gazelle, showing Dribble how to jump. "Dribble, all you have to do is hop on one leg," she shouts, and hops a hop so instructional that Dribble almost pays attention. "Hop, Dribble!" yells Felice, but Dribble never moves. He's been sitting in that spot since nine o'clock this morning, and hasn't moved so much as a whisker in three hours. Princess Felice isn't one to give up easily.
She flings herself around the edges of the room a couple of times, building up speed, and then with a mighty leap she sails like a meteor straight over the unimpressed Dribble, giving him a closeup of the perfect hop. Dribble's tail twitches slightly, perhaps due to the wind of Felice's passing.
The skinny princess tries a few more times to similar effect, and then throws herself to the floor beside the comatose lump of plump. She squoonches up to him and pretends to bite his ear. "I'm getting some cheese toast for lunch," she informs him. "Practice while I'm gone." And she runs out the tower door and down the steps, two at a time.
Choose *your* own adventure!
Adventure #1:
Felice, finding only rye bread and no cheese in the kitchens, takes a bite of a poisoned apple given her by a wicked fairy and falls into a coma beside Dribble, who, never more than half-awake at the best of times, mistakes her for a convenient cushion. She suffocates to death. The kingdom is plunged into mourning, and her father, Emperor His Majesty Bolivar the Fat, is emotionally so crippled that he is unable to mount any resistance to an invasion of cannibal barbarians, and the entire Tin Kingdom is put to fire and sword. King Bolivar makes breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a barbarian family of four, sandwiches the next day, and soup the week following.
Adventure #2:
Dribble rolls onto his back, stretches once or twice, and yawns so wide he turns himself into a Prince. He remains napping in front of the fire until spotted by one of the maids, who screams, drops the milk jug, and calls the guard. They catch the pudgy naked man down on his hands and knees lapping milk, and drag him to the dungeons, where he makes friends with the head gaoler by putting a dead rat in his shoes.
Adventure #3:
Sir Sned, the affable Junior Knight 3rd Class, discovers he is, in fact, narcoleptic whilst charging the maddened two-headed Dragon of Bittertooth. He slackly slips from the saddle and slides to a slow stop in front of the snarling lizard-beast. Which eats his arm off, but otherwise leaves him alone. Embarrassed, Sir Sned tells his senior officer he "must have left it somewhere" when questioned as to the limb's whereabouts.
Princess Felice - An energetic princess of tender years
Dribble - A housecat of prodigious size
King Bolivar - Named The Fat, a King, and father to Felice
Sir Sned - A Knight in the employ of the Kingdom
Act I, Scene I
Princess Felice leaps around the tower room like a stung gazelle, showing Dribble how to jump. "Dribble, all you have to do is hop on one leg," she shouts, and hops a hop so instructional that Dribble almost pays attention. "Hop, Dribble!" yells Felice, but Dribble never moves. He's been sitting in that spot since nine o'clock this morning, and hasn't moved so much as a whisker in three hours. Princess Felice isn't one to give up easily.
She flings herself around the edges of the room a couple of times, building up speed, and then with a mighty leap she sails like a meteor straight over the unimpressed Dribble, giving him a closeup of the perfect hop. Dribble's tail twitches slightly, perhaps due to the wind of Felice's passing.
The skinny princess tries a few more times to similar effect, and then throws herself to the floor beside the comatose lump of plump. She squoonches up to him and pretends to bite his ear. "I'm getting some cheese toast for lunch," she informs him. "Practice while I'm gone." And she runs out the tower door and down the steps, two at a time.
Choose *your* own adventure!
Adventure #1:
Felice, finding only rye bread and no cheese in the kitchens, takes a bite of a poisoned apple given her by a wicked fairy and falls into a coma beside Dribble, who, never more than half-awake at the best of times, mistakes her for a convenient cushion. She suffocates to death. The kingdom is plunged into mourning, and her father, Emperor His Majesty Bolivar the Fat, is emotionally so crippled that he is unable to mount any resistance to an invasion of cannibal barbarians, and the entire Tin Kingdom is put to fire and sword. King Bolivar makes breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a barbarian family of four, sandwiches the next day, and soup the week following.
Adventure #2:
Dribble rolls onto his back, stretches once or twice, and yawns so wide he turns himself into a Prince. He remains napping in front of the fire until spotted by one of the maids, who screams, drops the milk jug, and calls the guard. They catch the pudgy naked man down on his hands and knees lapping milk, and drag him to the dungeons, where he makes friends with the head gaoler by putting a dead rat in his shoes.
Adventure #3:
Sir Sned, the affable Junior Knight 3rd Class, discovers he is, in fact, narcoleptic whilst charging the maddened two-headed Dragon of Bittertooth. He slackly slips from the saddle and slides to a slow stop in front of the snarling lizard-beast. Which eats his arm off, but otherwise leaves him alone. Embarrassed, Sir Sned tells his senior officer he "must have left it somewhere" when questioned as to the limb's whereabouts.
I note the second reference to narcolepsy in a 10-day period. Hmmm.
~FF
What, are you counting? I'm just impressed anyone is paying attention, actually. And there's nothing funny about narcljzkzzzzzzz...