Dear Sirs, Madams, or not ungendered Persons,
I wish in no small part to IMMEDIATELY rescind the hardly never non-ridiculous grammatical tenet of the DOUBLE-NEGATIVE, in favour of the not historically unloved convention of NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT used for emphasis, so that I can say "Nay, you never barely have no time not left" freely and openly in ordinary conversation without a never, what never, no never, what *never*? ...hardly ever, unreasonable fear of brain fuse.
Signed, Your Least Disobedient Servant,
Your name here
I wish in no small part to IMMEDIATELY rescind the hardly never non-ridiculous grammatical tenet of the DOUBLE-NEGATIVE, in favour of the not historically unloved convention of NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT used for emphasis, so that I can say "Nay, you never barely have no time not left" freely and openly in ordinary conversation without a never, what never, no never, what *never*? ...hardly ever, unreasonable fear of brain fuse.
Signed, Your Least Disobedient Servant,
Your name here
This is not the craziest petition I have never not seen in my entire life.