Every week I volunteer to check out some books at the public library. I feel it's my charitable duty to the less advantaged. Most of them open right up with a little attention.
At The Fantasy Section
Most adult fantasy stimulates me even less than television. If that were possible. Not because I don't like fantasy but because it's written so badly it gives me the shudders. How do they make the impossible so tiresome? It irks me.
To do:
Sad. A limp collection of soilage, barely surpassing an East German dentist's office. Which is where, incidentally, I got the dental implements. At least they have Consumer Reports.
At the Audiovisual Section
Some creativity here. In that I've never heard of anything in it. Everything you wouldn't even see at 3 am on public broadcasting can be found here. Phrase that best describes style of collection: "abandoned garage sale".
At the Computers Section
Windows 3.1 for Dummies?
At the Young Adult Section
The only section worth looking at. All the best books are for young adults. Completely wasted on young adults, of course, the yobs. Witness Jonathan Stroud's Bartimaeus trilogy. Thank Azathoth.
At The Fantasy Section
Most adult fantasy stimulates me even less than television. If that were possible. Not because I don't like fantasy but because it's written so badly it gives me the shudders. How do they make the impossible so tiresome? It irks me.
To do:
- Draw up list of top offenders in pen.
- Summon aforementioned dingbats to the Pits of Enduring Torment.
- Pour concrete for Pits first.
- Strap on centipede-filled bikini bottoms.
- To the prisoners.
- Discuss creative shortcomings with the aid of rusty dental implements.
Sad. A limp collection of soilage, barely surpassing an East German dentist's office. Which is where, incidentally, I got the dental implements. At least they have Consumer Reports.
At the Audiovisual Section
Some creativity here. In that I've never heard of anything in it. Everything you wouldn't even see at 3 am on public broadcasting can be found here. Phrase that best describes style of collection: "abandoned garage sale".
At the Computers Section
Windows 3.1 for Dummies?
At the Young Adult Section
The only section worth looking at. All the best books are for young adults. Completely wasted on young adults, of course, the yobs. Witness Jonathan Stroud's Bartimaeus trilogy. Thank Azathoth.
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