First I cheer. Then I jeer. But then, I cheer again.
0 Comments Published October 03, 2005 at 8:41 PM.
I seen Serenity. And it was so the best. When it was done, I just wanted to watch it again.
I had high expectations coming from the series. High. My expectations for fantasy and sci-fi movies are always absurdly high, considering how accommodating the genre is to schlock, and I quickly turn me thumbs down when I believe the untertainment warrants death. Like LOTR. No, I take that back. LOTR does not deserve a quick death. LOTR deserves a slow roasting followed by thumbscrew, bastinado, and red-hot tweezers.
But I digress. No, actually, I don't. Forgive me if you think LOTR was "endlessly spectacular" or "one of the seminal cinematic achievements of our time". No no, I'm not interested in critiquing it as a film. That would imply I give it enough credit to continue to exist as a film. I'm more into destroying every copy on Earth and erasing the memories of those who saw it, so as to remove its stain forever from the multiverse. If ever these eyes have witnessed incontrovertible evidence of Satan's hand at work on our planet, it was seeing the story I love best pimped out for Burger King meals. Merciful Buddha, part of me died that day.
Okay, NOW I digress. Or I'm done. Whatever. Anyway. I LOVED SERENITY. AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS. A slice of genius is what that show is. Thank you, Mr. Joss Whedon, sir. And my wife thanks you, because we watched the whole series together on DVD and you made her cry when her favourite character died. I admit I was also shocked. In a good way, Mr. Whedon. Because you have balls. How and where you grew them and to what diameter exactly, I do not know, but this movie you made, it makes all the other moldy crud I've been forced to endure in recent years look like moldy, er, crud.
I had high expectations coming from the series. High. My expectations for fantasy and sci-fi movies are always absurdly high, considering how accommodating the genre is to schlock, and I quickly turn me thumbs down when I believe the untertainment warrants death. Like LOTR. No, I take that back. LOTR does not deserve a quick death. LOTR deserves a slow roasting followed by thumbscrew, bastinado, and red-hot tweezers.
But I digress. No, actually, I don't. Forgive me if you think LOTR was "endlessly spectacular" or "one of the seminal cinematic achievements of our time". No no, I'm not interested in critiquing it as a film. That would imply I give it enough credit to continue to exist as a film. I'm more into destroying every copy on Earth and erasing the memories of those who saw it, so as to remove its stain forever from the multiverse. If ever these eyes have witnessed incontrovertible evidence of Satan's hand at work on our planet, it was seeing the story I love best pimped out for Burger King meals. Merciful Buddha, part of me died that day.
Okay, NOW I digress. Or I'm done. Whatever. Anyway. I LOVED SERENITY. AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS. A slice of genius is what that show is. Thank you, Mr. Joss Whedon, sir. And my wife thanks you, because we watched the whole series together on DVD and you made her cry when her favourite character died. I admit I was also shocked. In a good way, Mr. Whedon. Because you have balls. How and where you grew them and to what diameter exactly, I do not know, but this movie you made, it makes all the other moldy crud I've been forced to endure in recent years look like moldy, er, crud.
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